A note to my 9 year old self!

Yesterday was international woman’s day #balanceforbetter, a day to celebrate woman having equal rights and a voice to say, feel and act freely, just like men.

Some may be thinking why should we have a day for this?… but we need to remember that it wasn’t too long ago that woman could not vote, and in some organisations, men still get paid far more than women in the same role. So there is still a little more work to do on getting that balance but we are getting there, and besides, why not have an excuse to praise all the amazing females of the world! Men also have a day (19th of November), so don’t worry, they get their chance to celebrate too!

Keeping with the theme of saying, feeling and acting freely, I often think about the things I would have done differently in life especially as I reflect on certain behaviors of myself and even my children.  Pete and I often ask each other what we would have done differently, so I thought I would put it down in some words and share some of mine. So this one is a bit of a self reflection post!

PS I have no regrets, in fact I would not have it any other way. But some of these traits do come back to haunt me in my adult life, whilst being totally aware of each, I do need to work extra hard at each of them.

Share your feelings

Growing up in the 80s was harder in many ways different to today. As a child who was eager to please and always (99% of the time) doing and feeling what I was told. It was implied both at home, socially and at school that by showing feelings other than what I was supposed to or expected to, was wrong and not welcome. While this may have be been my perception of the situation, my internal voice told me that doing otherwise was total disobedience. As a result of this, I rarely revealed my true feelings to anyone other than myself and most of the time I used to bottle them up inside. I was able to speak with my sisters at times, but due to this perceived view I never spoke to my parents about this. As a mother, sharing feelings both to my kids and vice versa, are encouraged at all times. I even cry in front of my kids and explain to them why. Whilst at times I try to over comfort the children by assisting them to overcome their ill feelings especially, I try my hardest to allow them to feel everything, and talk to us about how this particular situation makes them feel. There are some great children’s books about feelings that normalise all feelings, but I think what’s important here is creating that environment that your children are comfortable to talk to you about anything and everything with you, and that you are prepared to listen. I wish I just opened up to my parents, because I am sure they would have been more than receptive and helpful.

Commit wholeheartedly

Pete was a really great soccer player and I was not so bad myself at tennis. Both of us better than our fellow school mates at the time, and I even got chosen to play for Victoria when I was 12. While this was the case and I trained and played comp most days of the week I was never really 100% committed. My mind was always elsewhere or dreading the next day, coaching session or game. I never ate well to play or did I commit to the training game plan required or certainly what my oppositions were probably doing. My parents never forced me either, although they spent an enormous amount of their time and money carting me around. And that I am sorry for. But it has taught me when I commit to something, I commit 100%. Otherwise I don’t do it at all. Time and money is too precious these days, so there is no reason to throw your energy to something that doesn’t serve you. Pardon the pun. In the end tennis was not for me, and I finally quit. I remember forcing Kristina at the age of 4 to go to ballet, as I dreamed for her to be that gorgeous ballerina that I was not! She cried before EVERY SINGLE lesson. Finally I got over it and listened to her wishes. Sometimes if we are committed, but others are not, we have to accept that too.

Be confident with yourself

For those who know me well may find this one a little surprising. On front I come across confident and strong in nature. Inside I am actually quite introverted and shy. I put this down to being the quieter of twins, with my beautiful twin sister Nic always being the loud, more vibrant one of the two. She made friends way easier than what I did and still does, and she still turns many heads walking into a room, and I shared in this glory walking in right behind her. Growing up, with Nic by my side, I was always protected and had comfort with her being there to answer questions and respond. She spoke for us and she chose for us, and I loved it! But as we started to do things separately, as we got older, I remember struggling with confidence. Whilst I quickly managed to find my feet I remember having to find my individual self and one that people could learn to like, love and enjoy. Being individual is so important in life it helps you learn about you and what’s important about you and for you. You don’t have to be the same as others and sometimes it’s fine to be different. Recogising your differences and being proud of them is key to confidence and is definitely something I will be sharing more with my children. I was so proud when James came home late last year telling me that the boys in his class teased him after school swimming lessons for having hairy legs and a hairy back. He said mummy I told them that this is who I am and that we all have hair, just some more than others! This made me proud. #goshboysaremean

Challenge rather than accept

Being one to sweep things under the carpet is something I have learnt from young. Avoidance of conflict is a major strength of mine! But we all know this does no one favors especially yourself. If you are unsure say no or ask more questions. Failure is to do this can put you and any relationship with your kids and loved ones at risk for too many reasons to document here. I remember as a young girl running into my room and slamming the door shut and staying there for hours thinking and chewing on thoughts and ideas that were so different to what was actually going on. Totally linked to number 3, being confident to voice your beliefs and opinions is the key to a healthy and happy life. Creating an environment for this to occur and teaching my children this one is a difficult one but definitely a work in progress and one I am committed to.

What would you say to your 9 year old self?

CMP xxxx

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Corporate Outfits – Last 6 weeks

I am in a much better mood when I like what I am wearing!

Working in corporate where I travel a little, interact with customers and also internal stakeholders – staff, my peers, the executives, I always try and look my best but at the same time not be too over the top and uncomfortable.  We have many internal stairs in our office, and some of my catch-up with staff/peers involve walks around the block, so I need to make sure my outfits (and shoes) are adaptive to any type of meeting or situation.

When I first started working in corporate 16 years ago, I used to spend a lot of money on suits and corporate shirts.  I still have most of them taking up an enormous part of my wardrobe!  The organisation I worked for at the time was also very corporate and so were its customers – so suiting up suited the environment and I totally think that should be the case, you have to be comfortable but also relatable.  I must say I loved wearing suits and I still love wearing shirts!

Today working in a semi corporate environment, a very large and grown up tech business, most people dress in jeans or very casual / flats, runners and I have seen thongs (not often though).  Whilst I could dress the same as most, I do not, this is my choice and it totally is a representation of who I am.  Although I do find myself wearing more pant outfits these days, and less skirts.  This too, also comes and goes in phases.

I love clothes, fashion, and looking a bit different to what I look like on the weekends / casual environments, makes me feel like I am in a work mode, not to mention it makes me feel good.

I spend time the night before choosing my outfit for the next day, I have everything laid out, and so there is no thinking in the morning regarding what I am wearing.  I do the same with the kid’s clothes and always have.  Mornings are so hectic in our household and I find this can limit some of the stress for all of us and allow us to focus on breakfast and getting out the door on time.

I do not have a huge number of pieces but I like to mix and match a lot, and also splash my wardrobe with something new every couple of weeks, whether it is a pair of pants, skirt, top, shoes or jacket.  I also change the look with a staple belt and sometimes some different earrings.  I am also fortunate enough to share a wardrobe with my twin sister, so if I am feeling a bit bored, this helps mix it up a bit too.  My favourite places to shop for work are Witchery, Cue, Bonnie Park (local in Balwyn) and Zara, and all my shopping is done online using shopbop and the iconic.

These are some of my favourites from the last 6 weeks.

Petra xxx

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My Mid-week Go to Meals

Who’s got time to cook during the week let alone think about what to cook. Now I know why my mum owned a pressure cooker growing up!

Whilst my kids are mostly always fed when I pick them up after finishing work during the week, there are times when they are not, and I have a whole 30 mins to think, prep, cook and eat before it’s wind down time before bed. And there is always dinner for me and Pete (although some nights he is working) so it’s usually just me!

For those of you who know me well I am mostly eating lunch and dinner in the car or at the sink 🤪 en route to and from training/exercise, a meeting or some sort of kiddie pick up, so it really is a rarity that I am cooking up a storm during the week. I save that for weekends, maybe once or twice a month if I am lucky. Today happened to be one of those days.

So I thought I would share with you some of my go to meals that fit the criteria I mentioned above. The ones that I go to during the week. Mind you like my outfit and the kids uniforms the thinking happens the night before otherwise it just doesn’t happen.

1. Salmon, green beans or asparagus and rice

My butcher sells salmon every Tuesday so I always grab some pieces before work/school drop off. I cook the salmon in the oven in silver foil with some lemon, salt, olive oil and sometimes garnish with mushrooms or red capsicum. I then steam some green beans, asparagus or snow peas – kids don’t mind them either, with some brown rice. Yum.

2.  Chicken and vegetable stir fry

My butcher has pre made stir fry that I buy and then literally chuck onto a fry pan with some extra virgin olive oil and in the mouth! I usually cook extra for lunch the next day. Sometimes I add some soy sauce, sometimes I also add some gluten free noodles depends on how hungry I am. I have tried this stir fry with tofu instead of chicken, but can’t seem to find a nice tofu.  Any suggestions would be fab. Kids don’t like this meal or does Peter, all for me!

3. Crumbed chicken and veg

This ones the kids favourite. My butcher again has these amazing crumbed chicken thighs, bite size, gluten free! The kids love them, they think they are eating chicken nuggets (what’s with kids and nuggets) and I serve them with cucumber, carrot, broccoli (the latter a big struggle for the kids to eat) feta cheese and olives. Total winner.

4. Greek salad with chicken and mushrooms 

This one is one of my favourites and very easy. For the chicken I just use breast chicken and sometimes I have it vegetarian with lots of feta and oregano. As you have guessed I eat a lot of feta/goats cheese.

5. Bolognaise with steamed sweet potatoes 

One of my cooking up a storm meals on the weekend is bolognaise sauce with beef and pork mince. When I serve it during the week for Pete and the kids it’s with spaghetti. For me it’s with steamed sweet potatoes or just plain. To change things up I often make a lasagne too with the sauce and with gluten free pasta. No beshamel sauce as we all aren’t really fans. Sometimes I put sweet potatoes instead of pasta down the bottom with the sauce drizzled on top, topped with mozzarella and parmesan but that’s if I have a bit more time!

6. Egg omelette with goats cheese and vegetables 

The amount of times I eat an omelette during the week I can seriously cook one with my eyes shut! Favourite ingredients with or without yolk include: mushrooms, Meredith goats cheese or feta cheese, red capsicum, oregano, zucchini, broccoli, baby spinach, oregano and chilli. Again not for the kids or Pete, just mua.

7. Homemade Pizza

This one is for the kids mainly on a Friday literally using the coles brand pizza bases, leggo pizza sauce, ham, perfect pizza mozzarella cheese, mushrooms, black olives and sometimes some red capsicum. So easy and a big winner.

8. Steak, vegetables, homemade chips and rice 

Choice of cut is either eye fillet (my choice) or sirloin (Pete’s favourite) with steamed broccoli, cucumber, steamed corn, ice berg lettuce with salt, white vinegar and olive oil, red cabbage again with salt, white vinegar and olive oil, home made chips using the dirtiest potatoes, and sometimes some rice. The kids are very fussy (or spoilt) so I need to provide choice. Thankfully they love the meat, I am not so much a fan in my old age. Pete often makes this meal for us when he is home early enough.

9. Zucchini slice with goats cheese

This one requires prep but is yum and lasts in my fridge for days. Sometimes I make it the night before as soon as the kids are asleep. I use the recipe on taste.com.au and replace the onion (due to being a bit intolerant) with celery, the flour with almond meal, and bacon with feta or goats cheese. Kids don’t mind this one either.

10. Mixed roasted vegetables 

Throw diced zucchini, sweet potatoes, pumpkin, mushrooms, eggplant into a pan and then the oven drizzle with lemon, olive oil, oregano and salt to cook for 20 or minutes.  All for me and so filling.

11. Casserole – tomato based or Indian curry based – frozen pre cooked meal with rice 

This one I have pre cooked in a slow cooker on a weekend, and has loads of vegetables- carrots, zucchini, celery, eggplant, whatever I can’t find, with some skinless thigh fillets and either red sauce or curry sauce that I buy from my gourmet grocer. Not for the kids as it usually has a bit of spice although they do taste it from time to time. Always eaten with rice either white or brown.

12. Souvlaki with lamb back strap

Use Jerry souvlaki pitas from coles, with tzatziki (Chris’s Greek dips as he was my godfather and it is the best) or hummus, iceberg lettuce, tomato and anything else I feel like usually mushrooms. Most times I skip the pita and enjoy it open. The kids love it with the pita, lettuce and tzatziki.

You have probably gathered, that I love to cook with extra virgin olive oil, salt and oregano and sometimes chilli if it’s just for me. Other spices I like to use are cinnamon, black chives, bay leaf and nutmeg. Being Greek, I also love a bit of lemon or maybe a lot! Olives and feta cheese is always in my fridge, and I like to keep it very simple. Would love to hear some of your go to’s if you are happy to share.

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Spring Racing Fashion Cut so far!

Love spring time, not only because it means that summertime is coming and you get to enjoy much longer days, but because the fashion and beauty that surfaces especially around spring racing!

Thought I would share some of my favourite outfits from Derby Day and also Melbourne Cup day this year, makes me now want to change my outfit for Oaks :(( 

This year I especially loved the suit / pants look and also all the colours – lots of yellow, pink and red!

The usuals looked incredible and I thought Cathy McEvoy looked divine in her pink very feminine suit finished off with a dainty Hermes head scarf (I have the same one ☝️).

Whilst there were still a lot of dark colours and blacks, in particular for Derby Day (naturally), I found that those outfits were matched with more whites and colours.

I loved the long look, head pieces were amazing, and shoes and bags were all very high end stylist / designer.

Designers for me who killed it this year included  @effiekats @elliatt @viktoriaandwoods @eliyathelabel @toni_maticevski

Very impressed so far! Let’s see what Oaks day has in store for us.

 

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Why I Started Yoga 🧘‍♀️

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Rewind 10 years ago if someone told me that they did yoga as an exercise regime I automatically assumed they had major issues, wanted to practice relaxation and breathing techniques, or were going through a hard time. I would always associate exercise with lots of sweating, high impact, full body training and yoga didn’t fit into that category.

About 18 months ago I hit a point in my life where I nearly lost my shit and the struggles of a husband working 2 jobs, almost single parenting a very demanding and literal 4 and 6 year old and trying to be a good mum too, and then on top of that trying to front up in my very busy corporate full time job, exercise, cook, clean, see friends, kids activities and birthday parties blah blah, all got the better of me. 

Whilst a number of things needed addressing at the time one thing I knew for certain was that I needed to find time to look after my self, quickly! 

My kids, husband, friends, family and work were all suffering because I was trying to be perfect at everything, and too damn proud to reach out for help, say no or tell anyone for fear of being viewed upon as a failure. I could not accept any washing in the dirty laundry basket, any un made beds, unwashed dishes, unread emails in my inbox and a quiet schedule on the weekends. 

But sadly because of this I was failing miserably at everything and starting to hate the person I was becoming especially that person in front of my kids. I was constantly yelling, under pressure, stressed and tired, in fact my whole family was yelling and tired, I wasn’t seeing any of my extended family or friends and seriously disillusioned that any of this could be fixed. 

People would often say to me they don’t know how I cope what I am doing, that I was amazing at what I did; I would just smile, put up that incredibly strong and resilient front, but I was actually crumbling inside. 

I then found yoga. Or a mentor of mine suggested I needed to do something to improve my perception of what’s important “right now” not “later” and she suggested yoga to set my priorities. I am sure I didn’t really understand what she meant, but I listened.  

She recommended that I see a beautiful lady Margaret who happened to practice at her home right around the corner from my work. Without really thinking I committed firstly to a few weekly sessions during my busy working day. One hour to myself, to only think about me seemed too good to be true. 

Over a year later I really haven’t missed a session unless I am away for work or Margaret is travelling or away herself. We practice for an hour, it’s high intensity at times too (I burn 300 calories in any one hour session 😂), we chat a lot, and then she finishes with shavasana session following the theme of the practice and then a card reading (my favourite).

I love yoga and it’s part of who I am now. It gives me clarity, balance and helps me prioritise what’s really important. I am calmer and more attentive especially with the kids, and I don’t care for the little things, I don’t care that the beds are unmade when I get home (lie, I still care about that🤪) and everything can wait. 

I try and be balanced in what I do and how I approach things as best as I can as at now or today, not tomorrow and not for anyone else. I sleep more and I rest more too. This is the constant struggle I think in everyone’s lives, things are busier and we all make them busier.  Don’t get me wrong things are very often hard and a major struggle but I am approaching things far differently now and somehow able to handle the challenges a lot more easily.

One thing I hope you get out of reading this is that if you don’t look after yourself, what ever it is- going for walks, movies, exercise, meditation, and find time for yourself regularly, make it part of your diary, you cannot possibly be 100% to those around you. It’s a bit like the airlines when they demonstrate the emergency proceedure before takeoff; help yourself before you help others.

Namaste 🙏 

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Coming back to work from maternity leave

Having studied at uni for 9 long years straight that included an undergraduate  and then a masters, there was no way I was going to stop my career for anything let alone a baby!  I was far too important to stop, and at the time was not prepared to listen to anyone who was telling me otherwise.

At 32 when I fell pregnant with my first child not only did I hide the fact I was pregnant until I couldn’t any longer, but I told my boss I would be back at work within 6 months, due to fear I brought upon myself that I would fail at and stall my career if I took any more time off.

It wasn’t until I had my first baby James (June 2011) that I realised how disillusioned I really was, and what a gift it was to not only have a child but be able to care for them with 100% devotion at least the first year, and how work just stays the same and the only thing that really changes is you, and for the better.

So, I thought I would share a few things for those of you are worried about your work and your job, to reassure you, that if you are not allowed this time away, you are probably not working for the right organisation anyway, or its most likely in your “head” which is surely was for me.  I can assure you that whilst daunting there is light at the end of the tunnel, and not only will you have the time away that you deserve,  you will change as a person, for the better.

PS I did end up going back to work, not full-time, part-time after 6 months, as I suffered a little bit of FOMO, and I felt I was losing a lit bit of sense of my self.  Everyone’s different, the key thing is that the choice and decision is yours, no one else.

Here are a few things about me that changed.

  1. Whilst I was tired (very) at the beginning, I adjusted and learnt to work on empty and in fact I was more alert and “on” than ever.  I got shit done quicker, because I wanted to get home to my baby.
  2. I started sleeping a lot earlier, as soon as baby was down, I was pretty much down too, which made me a morning person and I started to get more done in the morning than at night.  That has continued, sort of!
  3. I say no to more things, or manage my time better – helps to set expectations.  As  a result of this, people / my boss etc actually give me more work to do, as they know I will get it done, but in a time frame that is achievable and manageable, by me.
  4. My patience and tolerance for late people, colleagues and clients, is a million miles higher, which makes me much nicer and more accepting to be around.
  5. I now take a very keen interest in my colleagues, staff and peers, their home life and kids, developing stronger personal relationships at work.
  6. I appreciate my job and the people I work with, including their differences, things I would usually hate etc.
  7. I am far more organised and structured at work and at home, keep a calendar for home (paper) and my diary through Outlook for work, without them both I am lost.

One thing I am still working on and continue to struggle with but am getting so much better, is when I am home, being at home, 100% on the kids, husband etc.  At the beginning I used to try send emails, take calls whilst being at home.  I have many war stories of locking the kids in the house (where I could still see them) so I could take a work call.  I even remember doing a radio interview once and I could see them both at the window bawling their eyes out 😦  This does not work for you, your work or your kids.  So, when I am at home, I must remember to be at home.

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